Whenever I have a tough meeting ahead, I do these 5 things

You know that moment - when an invite lands in your calendar, or worse, you set it up yourself, knowing full well it’s going to be rough. Maybe it’s about giving someone that long-overdue, dreaded feedback you know they won’t like. Or maybe it's one of those meetings where every possible outcome is... well, a shit outcome. The opposite of win-win.

I had a meeting like that recently. It definitely cost me a few nights of sleep. But those sleepless nights? They only reinforced my anxiety. They didn’t bring me any closer to showing up the way I wanted to - calm, collected, and clear-headed. Throughout my career, I’ve had to lead or join plenty of meetings I dreaded. Over time, I’ve tested different routines and prep strategies to deal with the angst. If you’re in the thick of it right now, these might help you too.

1. I Remove any stressors related to logistics

I plan ahead, then make a Plan B and C — how to get there, when to leave, what happens if there’s traffic, tech fails, or the room is double-booked. I control what I can on the runway into the meeting. That includes any Zoom setup, microphone testing, or room reservations. If I’m using a space I’m not familiar with, I book it at least 30 minutes early — just to make sure everything’s set up right. Obvious? Maybe. But I’ve learned the hard way that these little things can derail your focus fast.

2. I Overdress... but In my own way

Gone are my days of uncomfortable office outfits - but I still believe how I dress has a huge impact on the energy I bring into the room. I wear something that adds a spring to my step. For me, that might be a bold color, statement earrings (I recently saw this pair and loved them), a red lipstick... or all three. I usually choose something with emotional resonance: a piece I wore on holiday, or something my husband gave me. It feels somehow uplifting - like I’m bringing a bit of joy into the room with me.

Pre-meeting nap is also an option for some

3. I Prep with ChatGPT

Forget endless scribbles in a notebook that I relied on for years. I now talk it out with ChatGPT - and yes, I mean an actual conversation. I explain:

• The context (why this meeting is happening)

• Who’s in the room (and what I know about them)

• My goals and how I want to come across

It takes a few iterations, but I eventually ask it to generate a clear list of key points and arguments. I print it out and glance over it in the days leading up. Not to memorize it — just to plant those ideas deep in my “back memory,” so they don’t vanish when stress shows up.

4. I sip lemon balm tea all day

I don’t know what it is, but on that day, coffee just ramps up my anxiety. I’m fine with it most of the time - but not when nerves are already in shambles. Instead, I brew a big batch of lemon balm tea in the morning, pour it into my insulated bottle, and keep it close. It’s calming, soothing, and the act of sipping something warm slows me down, even in moments of panic.

5. I blast 2008 dance hits on the way there

This one’s thanks to a friend. Her advice? On the way into a tough meeting, put on the music that takes you all the way back - to pre-kids, dancing-on-tables, shameless-fun energy. For me, that’s early 2000s pop and dance hits like this playlist. Please don't judge. It lifts me out of the mental spiral and puts me in a looser, more playful headspace.

And here’s the last thing I’ll leave you with: It’s just one meeting - out of hundreds you’ll take, and dozens of hard conversations you’ll eventually have. Right now, it might feel like a mountain. But later tonight, you’ll come home, collapse in bed, and exhale. You'll whisper to yourself, “It’s done.” Sometimes, that’s exactly what success looks like.